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locus of control

I had a whole post planned about how to stick to your new years ‘resolutions’ but it doesn’t seem fitting or right at the moment. I, instead, feel called to write about our country, the people in it, and what I plan to do about what’s going on.

kyoko wrote a lovely post explaining how hate doesn’t have space here and I couldn’t agree more. following the events at the capitol, I found myself texting kyoko and physically searching out anyone in my office I knew held the same beliefs and opinions I did to question, how do we come back from this? while I was still in the shock phase of the events, I felt so helpless and out of control. my mind wandered to ‘if it feels this bad for me, imagine being in a minority group or a person of color watching this unfold’. then my therapist brain kicked in and out came ‘locus of control’. this concept depicts the difference between events that occur outside of our control and independent of our work or effort vs. the events that we do have control over based on our work and efforts.

I quickly realized there are several things happening right now that are out of my control. but if I choose to focus on those things, so many negative emotions will flow over and into me which is not helpful to the end goal of ending systemic racism and hate in my country. so, I must instead focus on the things I CAN control and that’s what this post is about. I wanted to provide some ideas for ways regular ol’ people can change the way they show up to do their part in ending the hate in our country. so here it goes.

doing the work:
  • have conversations with your family and friends that think differently than you. these conversations will (most likely) not be super pleasant, but they don’t have to be hateful and hurtful either.
  • seek out pages on social media that are racially different than you and hear their stories and feelings. then share that information with others.
  • read books! there are sooooo many books available to learn about the history of racism in our country/world. please do yourself a favor and find some and read read read.
  • watch documentaries and movies about the life and struggles with racism in the country and world. again, there are so many options available on streaming services.
  • use your money. if you have resources available to donate to organizations that support what you are trying to do, use that money to help them. if you have a gift you need to purchase, instead of going to amazon, can you find that gift through a black owned business instead? if you don’t have the money to invest, use your voice to share black owned businesses you would love to support when you are able
  • get involved with your local government. I can vividly remember the moment I felt I needed to do more. I started to try to do more at the national level and quickly felt overwhelmed, defeated, helpless. my husband said, why don’t you start small, here in our town our state. so I sought out a local group that works to help impact a broad range of issues, energy, economic justice and voting rights.
  • call it when you see it. if you are ever in a position where you feel injustice is occurring and it is safe for you to speak up, please do. if it is unsafe, use your voice when it’s safe to make an impact.

I hope these tips have been helpful. please check out our Instagram page for more resources and pages we love to follow.

♥- J


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